It’s 4/20. And Saturday? You really think a 23-year-old college kid is trying to sit here and work? Nah, son.
I’ll try to hit you guys with a more stationary version of a running diary tomorrow, but for now, enjoy a weed-related article that you should see in a Clarion near you. (We’re online too.)
A great man once said, “These students love doja.”
Or something like that.
While the greatness of rapper Chief Keef and the exact wording of the above quote are both debatable (read: complete untruths), the meaning isn’t—Citrus students are toking up more than ever before.
Every weekday, the various bags and cars of dozens of Citrus students include eye drops, novelty glassware and containers that smell strangely like the incense my favorite uncle liked to burn in his garage. And there’s a reason you don’t see herds of potheads stampeding around campus together—known for being notoriously unwilling to move, the wild stoner often retreats to a familiar, nearby vehicle for a quick dose of THC.
The question is: who can blame them? Not this guy.
From a legal standpoint, the marijuana situation is more confusing than sure-to-be-special name of Kimye’s unborn child. (Kobalt? Kolorado? Kwanzaa?!?!?!) Let me break it down for you via a hypothetical-yet-totally-realistic account of a conversation between Sasha Obama and the President:
Sasha: Helicopter rides aren’t getting me high enough dad. Can you throw down a 10-spot for some herb?
O: Look Sasha, I can’t do that for you. That’s against the law.
S: What? I know you and that Clinton guy who keeps lingering around used to fire up all the time back in the day! You can quit that terrible economy BS with me pops—we’re family.
O: Hey, I just can’t. But listen, if you do happen to pick up (looks around, lowers voice) I promise not to ask any questions.
S: [confused look on face] So you’re telling me I CAN buy some weed…
O:[nods head yes] Absolutely not.
S:[more confused] … I just can’t do it in front of you?
O: [winks, drops $10 bill on the ground] Absolutely not. [walks off, leaves bewildered daughter behind]
Lost? If you are, I’m not surprised. What President Obama told his daughter in that completely unfabricated dialogue is basically what smokers have been told in California, Colorado and Washington, three states that have legalized marijuana for medicinal use, recreational use, or both.
If you get caught by a local cop, you’re free to go. If you get caught by a fed, you’re going to jail. But they probably won’t be looking for you.
"It does not make sense from a prioritization point of view for us to focus on recreational drug users in a state that has already said, ‘Under state law, that’s legal,’" said the President in a recent interview with ABC’s Barbara Walters. This is consistent with what Obama said during his inaugural 2008 campaign, when he pledged to halt DEA raids on marijuana dispensaries and clinics legal by state statues.
Promised a life free of raids from the aggressive, warring, DEA tribes, the wild stoners began smoking more freely in public areas, believing they no longer had to hide.
Except the raids never stopped.
After the Obama campaign promises two years prior, Attorney General Eric Holder announced that the U.S. government would "vigorously enforce" federal marijuana policy in 2010. The statement was made in response to growing support of Proposition 19, which would have legalized marijuana for recreational use in California.
However, the crackdown seemed to come even sooner. According to Huffington Post reporter Lucia Graves, marijuana advocacy group Americans for Safe Access compiled a list of more than 170 Justice Department raids since Oct. 2009 in nine states that allow marijuana for medicinal use.
Fast forward three years later, and reefer is back to “nonpriority” status.
See the problem? It’s no surprise that about half of the incident reports I see talk about students getting caught smoking in their cars, or even on the steps outside our own newsroom. The state is telling them one thing—that it’s OK to smoke if you have a card. But Citrus College receives federal money (as well as any school that receives federal aid), so it has to follow federal law.
So right now the school could decide to take disciplinary action against a student smoking on campus with a card. That student could protest, saying he’s legally allowed to smoke medicinal marijuana in California under California law.
And here’s the fun part—both parties would be firmly in the right. That’s so un-American, I can barely wrap my star-spangled head around it. It’s like getting into a heated argument with someone, then suddenly yelling, “YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT, BUT SO AM I” in the loudest, most menacing voice possible. Good luck sorting that out.
It’s high about time for the confusion to end. I’m not calling for the government to suddenly legalize pot. Rather, I’m hoping the US government decides to take a definitive stance on the pesky little plant. I’d be fine if they decided to clamp down on all states with legalized pot laws, as long as that’s a stance the government can firmly support for the next 15 years.
Because no matter what, California’s wild smoker population is in no danger of extinction.
Enjoy your 4/20, you delinquents.